When I was a little girl I was asked, just like I'm sure you were asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" No, my answer was not a Doctor, not a Lawyer, or even an Astronaut, it was to be a Mom. Not sure why, but I just thought being a mom was the coolest thing.
Since I was about 16, Mother's Day was never the same. That's when my mom passed away of Brain Cancer and I was left without a Mom, probably when I needed her most, the teenage years. Luckily my big sister kind of turned into a mom figure for me and had to grow up real quickly, so very thankful for her. Thereafter, I had special women in my life, including our Step Mom, and many other women, they didn't necessarily take the place of my mom but gave me guidance like a mom.
Then years later I met my now husband and his mom who never had a daughter treated me like her own. So Mother's Day became special again. We got married but unfortunately shortly after she passed away. I tell ya, life is definitely one big rollercoaster of emotions, but I feel that everyone is brought into your life for a reason.
So when I became a mom of my own I'm not sure I could put into words how special the three letter word became again. We named my daughter using the same letter as my mom's name with her middle name the same as my mother in law. But before my daughter was born, we experienced another loss with something called Trisomy 18, which I had never heard of prior to this experience. My daughter didn't survive full term, and once again my heart was broken. Not knowing what the future would hold, and if I would ever have what I always wanted.. To be a Mom.
What I've learned from the ups and downs in this thing we call life, is that you should never take things for granted. Life is very precious and filled with many challenges but there must be a reason for everything. I wish more than anything my mom and mother in law were here to spoil my kids, but thankful for the time I had with them. Every once in awhile I get reminders they are looking down. We talk about them often to the kids and they refer to them as Grandma Angels. They are not just a memory they will always be in our hearts.
So Mother's Day to me is not about flowers, or presents, well maybe a nice meal out without having to cook or clean the dishes is nice. This day is just like any other day, a special day, where I get to hug my children and tell them how much I love them and enjoy every moment.
Happy Mother's Day to the wonderful Moms out there!
